Tuesday, September 15, 2015

setbacks: real or psychological?

In my mind my current setback is real but I am in the minority.
About three weeks ago, I imposed a “no wheelchair use while at home” rule.  I was simply relying on my wheelchair too much, so I put a complete stop to it unless I have to carry liquids or heavy items.  This rule was working.  I could walk to any room or area in the house.  However all of a sudden, I developed a phobia where if there is no wall or item on my right side I couldn’t walk by it.  I am stifled by the fear of falling (real).  If Bob or anyone lends me their hand, I can walk.  This behavior transferred to outside my house. When in unfamiliar territory, I am more reliant on needing to walk with someone close by. When I do hold someone’s hand, the touch is so light it’s a wonder that I need anyone at all (psychological).
So, what do I do?  I practice while at home with the wheelchair near by.  The other day, I got stuck in my closet for 15 minutes because I thought I couldn’t walk, until I finally figured it out. 
I’ve considered hypnosis, but haven’t acted on that yet. My opinion is I cannot feel my left leg, therefore I need more stability; hence the need to hold someone’s hand (real).
The question is, “Where did this come from” and “Why the sudden onset”(psychological)?  At this writing, I’m not sure it matters.  In my mind it’s real and I have to fix it or face the consequences:  staying home. The latter is not an option

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