Priorities

Before the stroke and when I had a career my priorities were:  health, family, remuneration and responsibility.  Post stroke, I “blew up” the health piece, was forced to retire but still have priorities.  They are: family, fitness, fun, and financial contributions.

The family priority hit a pinnacle this week with some key activities and exemplified why it is so important to me.

On Monday my sister, Susie, flew to Austin from Las Vegas with her 21 yr. old son John.  We planned 2 weeks ago to meet at the airport, drive to Houston and spend the night with my parents. I was particularly excited because I had not seen my nephew,   John for many years and he is beginning his 4^th year at Cal Poly. Bob dropped me at the airport and when we pulled up, Susie was in a rental car.  Bob commented “there are 4 people in her car what’s going on?”

Unbeknownst to me, two of my sister Theresa’s children, Angela (18) and Joey (14), flew from Vermont that morning to meet Susie’s plane. Apparently, Theresa and Susie began planning this rendezvous’ four days prior to their arrival.  Needless to say I was shocked when Angela and Joey popped out of the car.  I can’t remember when I felt this elated before.  We drove to Houston, shocked my parents. It’s wise not to give my Mother too much notice for these things to eliminate stress on what meals to prepare and where will everyone sleep.  We determined it had been ~7 years since my parents and John were together John was so engaging with them and he indicated he would like to come for more frequent visits. 

We returned to Austin Wednesday morning, made the obligatory stop at Rudy’s barbeque for lunch, spent the rest of the afternoon at Barton Springs.  We had Mexican food for dinner where my brother John’s son Vincent (21) joined us.   The highlight at the dinner was observing Joey and his art of conversation with his cousin 7 years his senior.  He was “holding court” at his end of the table and I was in awe.

Thursday morning, Susie took everyone home to Vegas with her where she will show them all the tourist attractions.

The conclusion is at the end of the 36 hours with my family, I can with 100% confidence say there was no place else or anything I would have rather been doing. I’m so glad to be able to still do these things that mean so much to me. My nieces and nephews will be moving on to their adult lives and these visits will fade as their responsibilities grow. It is a wonderful time in life.

I believe I combined 2 priorities this week:  family and fun my next blog will cover other priorities.

to adapt or not to adapt

Last time I wrote about living in a one-armed world and adapting.  Sometimes I’m learning I simply cannot adapt and have to ask for help.  Such was the case week ago when I wanted to try a new recipe:  carrot soup with lemon and ginger courtesy of my sister-in-law, Karen Matocha. The recipe called for 4 lbs. of grated carrots.  To my knowledge a grater designed for a one-handed person does not yet exist so I solicited the help of my husband, Bob. He graciously agreed to help and we made this delicious soup together.

This is clearly a case where I think I’m happier that adaptation tools don’t exist because as with most things, Bob simply makes it more fun.   

Another activity I cannot handle by myself is swimming. Last year Bob built a railing so I can walk down to the pool from our patio but when it comes to getting in the pool, here are the steps:  I sit in a chair Bob lowers me from the chair to the edge of the pool.  One-by-one he lowers me onto each step at the third step I can take over and swim laps.  I generally swim laps for about 30 minutes or until “pruning” sets in, whichever comes first.   Getting out is trickier because Bob has to lift me from the edge back to the chair and it requires me to stand putting all my weight on my right foot while he lifts me to the chair.  I have not mastered this step and currently failing at it because the way I’m doing it puts too much weight on Bobs back and if I not careful I will put him in traction.  I wish I could adequately describe the sensation of swimming.  I feel it works on my balance, ability to stand up straight, and works both legs while kicking in a way that my stationary bike cannot.  Even though I don’t feel my left side, it is working it in a way I cannot do with any other exercise. I need to give my friend Edie a callout here.  If it wasn’t for her persistence every weekend last summer to get me in the pool, I would not be able to swim by myself.  Thank you Edie!

Living in a world where you only have the use of one arm

Even though it is no picnic living with a stroke, it is helpful that products have been designed to allow me to work around my disability of only having the use of my right arm.

I make the mistake of forgetting about my left arm and my three visits to the NIH brought this to light. I need to do better and focus on my left side or it will never come back.  More later on what I plan to do about this.

Please allow me to share a few tools given my goal of the blog is to shortcut steps for other stroke survivors.

THE FIRST amazing tool that allowed me to maintain a passion is the Amazon Kindle It took two years after the stroke to discover the joy of reading again and it was 100% thanks to the Kindle. I now read the New York Times daily, the New Yorker magazine weekly and probably 3 -4 books a month.

You will recall I have no left-side peripheral vision; it’s called left-side neglect. While in the hospital and in my speech cognitive sessions, the therapist would draw a fat red line on the left with a magic marker to remind me to scan to the left when reading.  You can imagine that drawing a red line on each page of a thick book or document is a non-starter.  The Kindle reading space is 6” so I can pretty much see the whole page without turning my head.  Another advantage with the Kindle is during page turning, I can use my right thumb vs. having to put the book down on my lap and turn the page.  Reading is now much faster.

The two additional product categories that make living in a one-armed world tolerable are cooking products and grooming products:

Cooking essentials are:

-One-Touch can opener and One Touch jar opener (both can be purchased at Walgreens or Target)

-Immobile cutting board and electric knife

My 2010 Christmas present from Bob was candy apple red Kitchen Aide stand mixer this is a game-changer for my life in the kitchen and expanded my recipe repertoire considerably.

On the grooming side, because unfortunately, I didn’t lose my vanity from the stroke--the style of my hair is always #1 priority.  When Bob is around and has the time he does an amazing job with styling.  Just ask my girlfriends.  When he is away, I need a brush and hair dryer but what to do with only one usable hand.  We bought a tripod for the hair dryer.

I know there are other products that would enhance my life.

The last category is exercise and rehab tools for my disability but I will save this information for part 2.

My dream design product that I am waiting for is a pair of shoes or boots that I can fit over my leg brace that are not tennis shoes. Again with the vanity – sorry.