Hidden in Plain Sight

I created a panic. It wasn’t intentional. The panic tested my support team

About 3 years ago I was less than subtle about what I wanted for Christmas – a very special pair of earrings that I had wanted forever.  If purchased, they would be my “go to” earrings for any occasion.  After several holidays passed, I gave up on the thought of ever owning them. But Bob came through on Christmas 2010 – beautiful earrings.

Fast-forward to 2012 and I lose one of the earrings over the Christmas holiday while staying with my parents. I looked everywhere; retraced every step for two months.  My father went to my cousins where we had lunch Christmas day and retraced my every move from getting out of the car to walking through her grass, etc. My sister in Kansas searched her car, I called the store where I tried on some clothes and asked them to search their dressing room. My parents tore apart the room where I stay. Everyone knew how special they were and were willing to participate in the search.  Bob’s initial comment understandably was “well that’s it for expensive jewelry.”

Finally, I had to do something I was so distraught over this loss.  I visited two jewelers to see if I could buy one earing or have an earring made to match. I hit a low moment after these visits because there was no good solution other than just buying a new pair, which was not an option.

And then. I found it – it was here all the time, interlocked with another earring.

Suddenly all that was wrong was right again.  It wasn’t about the earring; it was about the loss, the stroke, the left side neglect and remembering to look to the left where things are magically found.

…or things magically reappear.

reslution update

In January I resolved to stay out of my wheelchair as much as possible.  My report card after 36 days into 2013 is average at best, the first 10 days in January I stayed out of my wheelchair as planned. I had the soreness and fatigue to prove it.  Slowly I fell back into my old habits, but now I am back on track.  When I walk at home, I always try to have the cane up in the air to work towards weaning myself totally from the cane – another resolution. 

I was totally inspired by Senator Mark Kirk and his walk up the Capitol steps on January 3 after his stroke in 2012. His quote in the Washington Post says it best:   “I regarded my left leg as a lifeless appendage”. Mike kept insisting that it would bear weight.   The moment I realized that it would and that I could swing it from my hip and propel myself forward, was the breakthrough revelation of my rehabilitation. If I could just trust my left leg, my world would be  right side up again.  

Senator Kirk also said:  “I wanted to give up almost every day. I was indescribably fatigued. I wanted to sleep all the time, a common desire in stroke sufferers. But I was beginning to believe. I used the prospect of returning to work, of climbing up the steps of the Capitol and walking the 50 paces to the Senate floor, as motivation.”  I too have a left leg and arm that I don’t trust. I also have days of giving up. I can’t give up or sleep all day because Sgt Major Bob won’t let me.  My motivation is the confidence of my family and the future of running Bob’s sculpture gallery in Houston in a year. Never, never, never give up.