A right to make ones own decisions

This past week, Bob forwarded an article from the New York Times:  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/21/magazine/a-life-or-death-situation.html?pa&_r=0

 It’s a story about Brook and Peggy.  Brook had a bicycle accident that left him paralyzed from the shoulder down.  He requires 24-hour care and currently has 12 caregivers.  My friend Sandra says: “The article will put you through “emotional exercises.”  They struggle with keeping Brook alive vs. his right to die if he chooses.

It elicited a flurry of activity from our family, so much so that I consumed half a day reading and responding to emails about it.  The comments ranged from profound to poetic to highly insightful. I was asked what I thought and I do think I’m uniquely qualified to have an opinion.  I dislike being dependent on anyone.  I also dislike losing my identity; translation, no career goals. Prior to the stroke I had a wonderful career: managed ~28 people, a $50M budget, worldwide responsibility and on an executive career path.  As my very wise sister-in-law pointed out: “A woman has to reinvent herself every seven years.  It is yet again time for me to redefine myself and who I am.  I think we need to view this as opportunity to change, grow, and move forward to another stage. “ I struggle to figure out my next stage and new identity.

 I could devote an entire blog to my mother. I wish I were a tenth the woman she is.  She raised seven kids (all with advanced degrees except me), while working full-time as an ICU nurse.  Upon retirement, she reinvented herself – she became a craft person extraordinaire – quilting, Brazilian embroidery, and other crafts.  she continues to quilt once a week with a Ladies’ guild. Yesterday she renewed her driver’s license. She is 93.

Not in plain sight

I know, I know you’re tired of hearing how I lost half my brain during the stroke but every once in a while something happens that restores your confidence that you’re not losing your mind.   About a month ago I lost a box of earrings at Bob’s Moms house. It happened when I returned from Bob’s birthday party in Houston.  The box had 4 pair of earrings in it and they are the type that would be hard to replace, not because of their value but because of their style. I was certain I packed them and they made it to Austin but when I retuned I couldn’t find them.  Retracing every step was difficult because I went many places in preparation for the party.  I called or visited every place I went incuding the Houstonian, Neiman Marcus, Megabus, my parents, my driver, and my mother-in-laws's house, Bob’s shop twice, I even posted a reward at 2 places.  This is how special they were to me.  I knew in my heart I did not lose them but a month later I resigned that they were, in fact, gone.

I’m glad I followed my horoscope today.  It said “Don’t be too afraid to make the wrong choice. Wrong choices lead to right choices.”  Today I made the, in my opinion, wrong choice to return to Austin two days early vs. drive back with Bob.  This decision led me to unpack and when stowing my bag upside down and shaking it to fit in the cabinet, the earring box fell out.  So I guess I’m not losing my mind after all.  What a day!