A tribute

My 93 year-old mother died last week.  My emotions would not allow me to orally pay tribute to her during her Vigil.  I decided to use this forum to quietly try and accomplish what I need to say.  It is a thank you note to my Mother.

Dear Mom,

Thank you for everything you did for me growing up

Specifically,

Thank you for teaching me how to bake; thank you for warning me not to eat cookie dough because it could give me worms.

Thank you for teaching me how to be a kind person, specifically if someone gives you food in a dish; never return the dish empty

Always, always handwrite thank you notes your penmanship was beautiful; thank you for teaching me to be neat

Thank you for teaching me grooming tips; specifically, don’t wear jeans or perfume in the summer.

I Thanks for cooking for us, it must really have taken a lot of work to plan meals, to go to the grocery store, to read labels and pick the best foods to keep our bodies healthy.

Thanks for helping me grow up Mom!

Thank you for teaching me to be organized, to do my homework, clean my room and to practice my piano.

Thank you for believing in me, encouraging me to do my best and to try new things love myself and I am proud of myself. I have confidence and I believe in myself because of you. Thank you for supporting my dreams and ideas, even when they seem far-fetched or silly to you. I need to make mistakes and have failures to grow, so thanks for being there when I’m down, and for helping me find my way back up.

Thanks for working so hard for so many years to support all my dreams and needs.  I will never forget watching you get ready for work at 10:30 each night, going to work until 7:00 the next morning and sleeping all day so you could be home when we returned from school.  You were eternally tired.  AS I write this, I wonder when you had fun or did something just for you.  In my 57 years of knowing you, I can’t think of one instance where you just focused on you.  That is astonishing.

Thank you for modeling how to be respectful, kind to others and patient with old or sick people, Even though I didn’t always listen to you, I did always heard you.  Even when there were six other kids around, you always took the time to listen to me.  I was the special person in the room at that moment.

Mom, thanks for driving me all over the town to friends, tryouts, activities, performances, games, concerts, auditions and practices,

Thanks for noticing when I helped around the house. With seven kids it was hard to single any one of us out but you did when it was important.

Tanks for teaching me life skills; you’re helping me learn how to become a happy and healthy adult one day. You’re giving me limits and structure but also space and confidence to step out toward independence.

My mothers, as all mothers, deserve to be thanked for their tireless, passionate, endless work as Moms. They don’t get sick days, personal days and we really don’t even get Mother’s Day off.

I love you. Thank you for loving me in all the ways that you did.

Love,  your child – Ann Margaret A.K.A number 6

game-change

About three weeks ago we received my new walker.  Prior to delivery, I positioned it as a “game-changer” for me in terms of walking. Where we live in Houston now is walking distance or minutes away from every major museum in Houston and Hermann Park.  With just my cane and by myself I am not able to walk to these places.  I tried but the unevenness of the sidewalks was a non-starter.  The proximity to all this culture and my immobility was eating away at me.  I commented to Bob that when I’m at the grocery store and pushing the shopping cart, my mobility is better.  Couldn’t we try and “mirror” this experience?  Bob was on it and found an “off-road” type walker, which is a game-changer. It has three big wheels off-road suspension, a brake for going down hills, a seat if get tired, and a basket for carrying stuff. It folds up for ease of traveling.  The walker allows me the freedom to walk to the museums that surround me.  I call her velvet  

Wave to me when you drive by, I will be walking.

Move Part two

I left behind in Austin a support structure that took six years to build, knowing once I was in Houston I would be starting over.  The support consisted of caregivers, drivers, doctors, an exercise routine, good friends (friends I’ve had for over 30 years), and neighbors. Basically I had a comfortable daily routine-- emphasis on comfortable.  I imploded the comfort level but can safely say that after almost a month my support structure is 75% rebuilt.  Let me explain.  I measured my move success on completion of six key activities including,:

1.       Completion of move into condo (boxes unpacked, able to find my stuff for cooking and dressing, etc.)

2.      Up and running Internet with a new email

3.      Resuming my Spanish lessons via SKYPE

4.      New caregivers hired to alieve Bob of driving responsibilities

5.      Able to shower again on my own

6.      Walk to nearby museums on my own

It took two weeks to get back on email, Internet and Spanish.

I have two caregivers, one woman and one man; both are college students in their 20’s. The caregivers both came from my Austin caregiver referrals.

Bob has installed a bench in the shower but it’s not 100% functional so I have not met this goal

Last Friday I attempted to walk to the Museum of Fine Arts, which is about a mile away.  It was clear due to the cracks in the sidewalk that walking by myself would be too difficult so I need to find another option. 

On a separate note, goal unrelated, I have engaged with old friends in Houston and whenever there is a family event, I’m here for it and I love that.  My mother-in-law is deeply engaged with the Arts in Houston and she invites me to tag along. I am now closer to my volunteer work with the East End Management District and this keeps me occupied in a way that feels like a job. 

I have not figured out how to exercise on my trike outside but we are working on this. 

I have not replaced my hairdresser aestitician, and my other high-maintenance needs.

I suppose if this is what we can accomplish in a month, I’m very optimistic about the future. 

Bottom line, I love being a Houstonian again. 

 I