leaving

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Bob left Austin for the Burning Man festival 2012 yesterday.  I have mixed feelings now that he is gone--ranging from pride to sadness to disappointment.  The pride stems from Bob's involvement with the project’s lead artist almost six months ago.  He immediately took on the role of project manager to lend his experience to the team from Burning Man 2008. The work included 12 trips to Houston, 160 hrs. of work in Austin building frames, brackets, tops, pod bases etc. He did 100% of the metal work for the sculpture. The team could comfortably say if Bob had not been involved, they wouldn’t be ready for the build next week in the desert. For this, I am extremely proud of his leadership role.  In parallel he led a major acquisition effort for one of his consulting gigs.  Also in parallel as always he is my primary caregiver that takes multiple hours per week.  I remain eternally grateful for his support.

The sadness stems from two things.  One, I miss him and it has barely been 24 hours, and 2) he is on an adventure that I cannot share.  I was invited to drive in the RV out to the desert but elected not to go.  I did not push myself hard enough; consequently I am not attending Burning Man this year.   My walking is not where it should be.  I am addressing two major issues twice a week in therapy. I need to be able to step pass my left foot when I walk by weight shifting on my left.  I have to be able to manage uneven terrain with ease and not go apoplectic when it’s not flat or concrete.

What is the saying?  Recognizing and admitting the issue is half the battle.  I am so acutely aware of my issues with walking. My goal by the end of the year is to have improved my gait.  Stay tuned.

Support

If you are stroke survivor you already know the importance of support.  What you may not know is having a support team is even more important.  Let me explain.

I have by good fortune and some luck amassed a support team that nurtures my mind, body, spirit and soul on a regular basis.  My mind is challenged by my colleagues in Portland that allow me to work on key projects for their company. Also for my mind, I read everything I can get my hands on, do word puzzles, converse, and socialize. My mind wants to keep learning…it needs to keep learning

For body, I swim, ride a recumbent bike, lift weights and attend outpatient rehab four hours a week. Also essential for me is a focus on nutrition to keep my weight down in the event Bob or a caregiver would have to lift me.

For my spirit, I need to entertain my mind and keep my body healthy and strong, or my spirit starts to diminish and fade.  My spirit yearns for adventure. I have a wonderful group of girlfriends who have stuck with me since the worst part of the stroke through today. They constantly boost my spirit. About eight of us who have known each other since high school get together to celebrate our birthdays.  For my birthday, I requested we do something different and have a pool party. When I made this request I thought it was safe, because I never thought they would agree.  After all, the two most feared words in a woman’s lexicon are “pool party”!

My soul is fed through Bob, my parents, six siblings, their children, Bob’s parents and his three siblings.  They are a giant recurring source of support, love and encouragement and have been there with me from the beginning. That’s a support team.