During a quiet moment

mel·an·chol·y/ˈmelənˌkälē/

Adjective: Sad, gloomy, or depressed.

Noun: A deep, pensive, and long-lasting sadness

Melancholy…

When I used to travel a lot for work I found 2 weeks or more on the road to affect my productivity. Maybe it is the same here at NIH. Home is where I drift to between sessions. What’s going on, what am I missing, what’s everybody up to without me? Probably not much other than a few dinners out and some drop-bys to see what’s coming out of the metal shop. Still I wonder.

Melancholy may be too strong of a word. A little bit lonely? I miss my friends and family – aka my Bobby. My home routine which seemed a little boring at the time looks pretty good to me. But of course, “the grass is always greener”. Maybe I have gotten so used to having my exercise gear, my computer, my co-pilots and most important my kitchen near by to fill the gaps in the day. Seems like I am always doing something. Maybe I should revel in this time. After all, it is for a good cause and I will know I was part of something important.

The stroke has shortened my “piece of string”. That’s what Bob calls it when someone tightens the radius of their life. It’s like pinning a string piece at the home base and moving it in a circle – that’s ones range. Before the stroke the string I had few limits but now it is pretty short. It’s not so much a negative it is just that the stroke makes everything much more difficult. More time consuming.

I try not to dwell in this space. There is nothing to be done about it but to continue to try harder to get past my limitations. So maybe melancholy is okay for a little while. Remember the mantra “Revel in what we can do”.