good days ad really bad days

I hate to be negative but today was a disaster.  I headed out for my final PT session and to get to my car I have to step down a 3 inch step.  I couldn’t do it.  Bob removed the “prop” I typically use to hold while I step down specifically to get me used to doing this on my own. I froze and have no explanation for this; my mind would not let my left leg go down. The fear of falling is minimized because Bob is right there to catch me. Bob said, I couldn’t go to therapy unless I made this step. Just as I was about to call the therapist, Casey, to say I couldn’t make it, I was able to step down.  Since this is my last therapy session until January I was supposed to maximize my time and get the necessary homework to have a home program until then.   She tested me on my 3 goals:

1.       Walk outside in the grass unassisted

2.      Walk up and down steps outside unassisted

3.      Walk unassisted, no cane, with a glass of water without spilling any water.

·        I didn’t do the first 2 but did fine with number 3.

·        That spells disaster to me. These 3 things should have taken 15 minutes but since I failed miserably, I used up my entire last hour. What a waste!

4.       Casey said: “I wouldn’t push you so hard if I didn’t think you could do it.”   I am extremely frustrated as a result.  I guess everyone has bad days and I need to shake it off and get my confidence back.  I’ll try.  When I think about the east coast Sandy survivors, my issue pales, and I’m embarrassed to even bring it up.

On a positive note it has been a good week from a cognitive perspective. e. g, Spanish, voting, and writing a speech to give to UT grad students in November.  But I don’t want to “sugar coat” the bad stuff because I need to improve.  

So I will shake it off, put one foot in front of the other and get over it ---I am even going to do it on grass.