Two Events

The confluences of two events this week form today’s blog.  They are:

1.      An award winning documentary, Luckey, about a Connecticut architect, Tom Luckey who is paralyzed when he falls out of a window he designed.  The documentary explores how a crisis impacts your family and quality of life. 

2.      A senior student at the University of Texas studying communication’s disorders interviewed me this week fulfill a course project:  interview one person with a speech/language difference, or disorder that affects their communication in some way. The student asked me quite a few questions about my family’s involvement and how did they react and what are some of the biggest misconceptions about being a stroke survivor?

Today I will focus on Tom Lackey’s experience and how I relate to his experience and some of his messages.   The accident changed his relationship with his wife and son and not necessarily in a good way.

In my case the family relationship was impacted by this crisis in a positive way.  Pure and simple, it brought us all closer together.  I believe my incident also changed the relationship with my family but in a good way.  Tom Luckey explores these areas in the film:

-         He says:  “it is very hard to grasp we have a new adventure; we are on a new life’s adventure.”  “I have to let go of my old life.”

-        “How do I get used to who I am now?”

-        “Who I was gets more and more distant as time goes on.”

A while ago, my sister-in-law, Allison, mentioned I should blog about how I feel?  I couldn’t address this until now because I didn’t know how. Tom’s thoughts above helped me articulate how I feel.     

It has been hard to grasp that this is our new adventure and our “new normal. “When I do explore who I was and who I am, I do it in the context of family. The part that I still question is who am I becoming?

I was and am and hope to always be a:

·        Friend

·        Partner/spouse

·        Daughter

·        Sister

·        Daughter-in-law

·        Sister-in-law

·        Aunt

The only thing missing is being an employee, which I hope to become again someday.

I used to think it was important to hold on to whom I was but now I just don’t think it matters, I/We have to make new memories.