Reality

“I’m struggling, not suffering”

These are the words spoken by Alice Howland in Still Alice.

They completely resonated with me.  They also are what I often want to say to people who want to know what it’s like to live as a stroke survivor.  I’ve covered this ground before, yet, the movie and book resonated so deeply I thought it warranted repeating.  Surviving a stroke is who I am, how I define myself and how others will continue to define me. BUT, I am so much more.  I’m a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt and a friend.  I’m an active participant in society.  I have two volunteer jobs and my brain works reasonably well. However my body doesn’t allow me to do the things I used to like, such as run, bike, walk, kayak, walk in heels, etc.

Below, I quote a few lines from Lisa Enova, author of Still Alice. She says it so much better than I ever could.

“I know I have people I love dearly. I have things I want to do with my life. There are many moments in the day of pure happiness and joy. And please do not think that I am suffering. I am not suffering. I am struggling. Struggling to be part of things, to stay connected to who I was once. So, ‘live in the moment’ I tell myself it’s really all I can do”.