Confidence

For the most part, confidence is good. However, recently it almost got me into trouble.  I’m so enamored with my new walker, that I took it on a trip to the movies on my own.  I was dropped off early by a friend to start getting the tickets. I made it to the ticket counter fine and on my way to my movie, I stopped in the bathroom. I go to open the door and have my hand on the handle when something pulls me very hard.  It was a man on the other side trying to open the door.  I was grateful to have the door opened because it was heavy but he almost pulled my arm out of its socket.  Once inside, I had to get through yet another heavy door.  I could not open it so I headed back to the main door and remembered this one was heavy too.  So here I am 15 minutes before the movie starts and I can’t get through either door to get to the movie location. I weigh my options:  wait or call my friend.  I elected to wait and someone eventually helped me open the doors.  My confidence lets me know there are many things I can do, but I need to know my limitations and have a plan B. 

freedom part 2 -from guest blogger, Bobby Bacon's perspective

Annie named her new three wheeled Invacare walker “Junior”. It isn’t a complete replacement for “Velvet”, her larger walking support device, but an addition for short hauls. I had looked at these lighter weight devices over the years but had concerns about providing enough support if she lost her balance. Velvet is too heavy and large for most Uber vehicles and certainly too heavy for frailer companions to pick up. Enter Junior.

We decided in a “what the heck” moment to pick up one of these. They’re about 1/10 the cost of a Velvet and 1/3 the weight. Three wheels versus four was the decision as Annie has to control everything with just one hand. You get the picture…

We always like a “so what?” moment. In the last couple weeks of getting used to this Annie has broadened her horizons three fold. She is taking Uber (please don’t leave Houston) to shop, to get nails done, to pick up small items at the store, to meet with friends and is able to actually walk on her own to restaurants in the area. This is a huge boost to confidence, independence, ease to hang out with her friends (who might “postpone” due to the challenges of supporting Annie) and in one additional word FREEDOM! It’s freedom for both of us. Annie can do what she wants.

Of course I still cringe at the thought of her crossing a busy street or plowing forth on the train or bus. But we’ll get there. Annie wants her independence as much as I want it for her. Personal pride and a less grumpy pal (who me? Yeah, Houston traffic…) make for powerful medicine. Now Annie is just a text or phone call away from a meet up.

So the “so what” is a wider range of activity. It’s fewer responses of “no’ when she says “Can I come?” It’s a sense of owning her own space and commanding her own time. That's progress. I suggested we might call Junior “Hope”. It seems to be sticking.

Freedom

They say “any job can be accomplished with the right tools” I’m on path to prove this. First, a little background last month my tools for walking included my 4-prong cane for short trips and my 4-wheel walker with a built-in seat and off-road tires for longer trips. Even though the cane gave me mobility, I was still often holding Bob or my caregiver’s hand upon leaving the car.  My balance and confidence was low.  Also, the bigger walker was an issue when going go our gallery because the size was so inconvenient and obtrusive. So Bob suggested I look into smaller walkers which I did and now have a 3-wheel, 8 pound, collapsible walker.  In two short weeks, this “tool” has been the biggest confidence builder since I started being able to walk 8 years ago. It is difficult to express the emotional benefits.  Prior to having this walker, I could go anywhere in a cab, Uber, etc. but once I get there, I need help with walking so my activities were limited.  Now I can go anywhere.  For example, today, I took Uber on my own to the drug store and to get a manicure.  I’ve never done this on my own bore and the freedom it affords me is so huge .I love to go to the movies, restaurants, shop, etc. independently but until now did not have the confidence. The new walker is giving m hope to look beyond my current routine and activities such as travelling. Tithe bottom line is I now feel I can go anywhere without having to plan

Strokelife, liberty and the pursuit of aging happily

When I exercise on my indoor bike I routinely watch one of two shows, either Stephen Colbert or Jimmy Fallon. On a recent show, Cameron Diaz was pitching her second book, “Longevity, the Science of Aging.” She writes:  “Aging is a privilege and we should feel lucky to be able to age.” At this point one might question my judgment in referencing Cameron Diaz in a stroke blog. However her four pillars for successful aging resonated with me because I often wonder as I feel the effects of aging is it age or stroke related?  It’s probably both. I fight daily to make sure the effects of stroke don’t hasten my aging.  Her four pillars of aging successfully are:  “nutrition, rest, exercise, and laughter.” I give myself an average grade of C minus or lower on adapting these pillars.   I exercise and laugh every day and my nutrition is decent. It is rest that lowers my grade.  I suffer from insomnia and don’t really sleep without some nightly aid.  I also would add a fifth pillar, which would be meaningful work.  If I had meaningful work, I believe rest would be manageable.  I am envious of my brother-in-law, Tom who has meaningful work-- the relentless goal of improving Houston Parks and park access.  He inspires me to find my own meaningful work as the fifth pillar on my own aging quest. Again, what does Cameron Diaz know about aging and science?  Probably not a lot, but she gave me material for my blog.

Mix it up

My daily routine consists of morning coffee, breakfast, newspapers, email, errands, therapy, exercise, cooking, volunteer work, etc.  When I have an opportunity “to step out” of my comfort zone, I immediately jump on it. This was the case recently when I tagged along with Bob to drive to Austin to accompany him on a few appointments. We delivered a piece of furniture contracted by one of my friends.   It also was one of my best friend’s birthdays and we were able to go to lunch. I believe it is important to mix up my routine. The plan required that I get up early, shower, sit for an extended period in a car, walk in unfamiliar territory more than I do when at home, socialize (which I think is always important) and maintain my close friendships in Austin.   As I was leaving, my friend said to me:  “Thanks for making the effort.”  That said it all and meant the world to me.  My new mantra:   Mix it up and often!

Full Circle

Recently I was referred to an Occupational Therapist by my vision doctor.  My vision doctor prescribed prism glasses that are designed to help me overcome my left side - peripheral vision deficit. She thought I could use some additional training with an OT so she asked her OT to contact me.

I had my first appointment with the OT, Danny, this week.  Coincidentally, Danny was my OT at TIRR in 2007. When I left the hospital in Houston, I first stayed with Tom and Laura and Danny came over one night to help Bob get me to stand. At that time I was 95% needing support and wheelchair bound. The doctor warned Bob how difficult it would be to take care of me once I left the hospital but we had no idea. We solicited help from Danny. We wanted to work with her more, possibly fulltime and even get her to consider an Austin move but she had just taken a job at Methodist.

So imagine my surprise when she contacted me for this appointment – back in my life in such a positive way. Danny is wonderful evidence of the top treatment available in Houston and facilitating my ongoing effort to improve.

My first session with her was 2 hours we spent a lot of time discussing my goals and how I was doing since 2007. A lot of her questions were about my mental state.  Basically she was assessing my treatment needs going forward.  She’s trying to get to the reason my walking is where it is today.  An early theory is my “mid -line” or in other words, “my center” is off so my walking is skewed.  I was so encouraged by her thorough exam and so looking forward to y treatment.  My first session is next week.  Stay tuned. 

stop the Madness

When I was working I had an ongoing philosophy pounded into me by supervisors: For every project you are working on set goals and realistic ways to measure these goals.  We would say, “If you can’t measure it you shouldn’t do it.”  My ongoing projects today include:  taking Spanish lessons, marketing volunteer work for the East End Foundation and my ongoing rehab. Here are some examples of goal setting and measurements

For Spanish I set goals with my instructor and we agreed after our next 20 sessions that I will take an exam, if I don’t pass the exam, she will comp me the next 5 lessons. If I do pass, I will continue to purchase lessons from the school

For my volunteer work, I wrote the marketing plan for an upcoming open house for the district. I need to get at least 10 partners to sign up to participate in the open house. I need to at least two articlespublished in local papers promoting the event.

For my rehab, Donna and I will finalize this week but they will include:

1.       Walking from her car to the store without using her arm or a shopping cart

2.      Walking from Donna’s car into our Gallery and once in the gallery, walking to the bathroom on my own.  (I currently rely on Bob because of all the materials around and my fear of falling.

3.      Pick any restaurant that I currently have trouble with and walk to and from unassisted.

4.      Walk from my condo to Hermann Park, using my walker.

There is a timeframe associated with each of the goals.

Over the past year, my walking has regressed. I want to stop this madness and practice, which  is the only way I know how to tackle. There is no rehab lab setting that can substitute for doing in my opinion, particularly when many of my issues are mental.   I haven’t bogged lately.  My goal is try and make sure these are relevant current and useful.  Hope this fits.