friends - the harsh reality and stroke

I remember reading years ago that when you have an illness, friends will stick with you for approximately six weeks.  The article said, friends will stick by your side and after about six weeks they simply want you to get better. My friends have stayed with me for six years.  There are multiple levels of “stick by”.  Some friends I know are always there if I need them.  Even my best friends I don’t call because sometimes it’s just easier to do something and not worry about the support they might need to provide me.  For example, going to a movie requires a bit of an effort.  They have to think about picking me up, helping me walk up a step, carrying food, etc. In the old days I could just meet them at the theatre.  Even friends who have had a stroke don’t call because we are at different levels in our recovery.  

Some have stopped calling because I cannot participate in the same activities such as my running friends.  When you lose something that bonded you in the first place, its natural this goes away. Since I no longer work it means I have no current work friends. My work was such a big part of my lifeso this is a huge void.  However, my former work friends have been wonderful about keeping up either through my blog, email, or lunches. My family members I count as friends and they are always there for me.  My father-in-law, whom I considered a friend, recently died.  The one positive, is his legacy lives on through my Bob, who is my best friend.  This is a” lose/win” for me.  What does all this mean?  Life is about constant reinvention and evolving with friends, much like the Scout Song:  “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” 

Resolutions

They say greater than 90% of New Year resolutions made are not kept.  This is why many no longer make them.  I resisted until the last minute.  I finally decided on two, maybe three.  The first is stay out of my wheelchair all day, every day. I tend to rely on it too much and it becomes more of a habit than a necessity.  My second resolution is to improve my walking.  When I grocery shop. And walk behind the cart, my walking gait and speed is ideal.  I’m trying to emulate this on a regular basis.  These resolutions go hand-in-hand.  When I walk around the house, this entails walking with my cane up in the air so I can carry things.  The more I do this, the less I rely on my cane. My third resolution is to walk without the cane entirely by year-end. I really don’t need it and proved in therapy I can walk without it.  I just need the confidence and stamina to do this on a regular basis.

Today is day three of the New Year and so far I have not used the wheelchair as resolved.  I’ll report back regularly.  This is going to happen!